Breathe This Way

It had been a rough day at work – one of those days when nothing goes right and you’re blamed for everything that goes wrong.   I left work defeated, but my day was far from over.  I had a volunteer commitment that night and a networking event after that.  My day had to go on, I just wasn’t sure I could.  I was so exhausted I could barely catch my breath.  

Then my cell phone rang and it was my mom.   She sensed my restlessness and asked what was really going on.  I took a breath…and I begin to spill my guts.  She listened without interruption.  Just an occasional, “I understand.”  After what was probably 30 minutes of me talking and her listening, I realized that I had reached where I was going. 

I said to her, “I’m sorry I’ve been talking this whole time.  I feel better. I guess I just needed to breathe.”  And she replied, “Breathe this way any time.”

After I heard those words, I was able to step back and look at the big picture of my day, and really my life.  I learned that allowing myself to breathe centered me and allowing myself to talk about what was bothersome helped me gain perspective.  But the biggest thing I learned is how important it is to have someone listen to you.  It is our deepest desire to be heard.

In hearing myself, I understood that whatever daily trials I encountered – I was still here.  I had the same power to accept those feelings of defeat that I had to reject them.  I was going to get through this day just like I always have.  And I was able to remember this because someone took the time to listen.  This simple gesture breathed life back into my day.

A Piece Of Cake

I recently dined at a restaurant that is popular for everything on the menu.  When I arrived, I had no idea it was going to be the meal of a lifetime.  Well it was…until the dessert came.

I ordered the “Fallen Chocolate Cake”.  I was very disappointed at the dry texture of the outside of the cake, and I wasn’t too impressed with the presentation. Although I wasn’t completely satisfied with what had been brought to me, I kept eating it – thinking, “Since I asked for it and started it, I’m going to finish it.”  Then something happened.  I got to the center of the cake and I can’t even type what I experienced.  It was a fountain of perfection that made me think, “Oh, this is exactly what I expected…and what I’ve been waiting for.”

Sometimes life can be that way.  We ask for something and then when it comes, we are completely disappointed because of how it looks, how it is presented or how it doesn’t live up to what we had in mind.  However, if we take the time to be patient, keep moving forward – we may find that we are pleasantly surprised at the outcome.

Before you reach judgment on an experience, an offering or even a person…take time to enjoy what is in front of you.  Then assess the moment.  At first, you could find you hate it…but most often, we may be thankful for the opportunity to have tried it.  And if we look at the big picture – we are truly richer for the experience.  It’s not hard to embrace this mindset.  Take it from me…it’s a piece of cake!

www.insightfulvoice.com

Just Isn't My Gig

Last night I was watching an episode of Flipping Out on Bravo and Jeff, the owner and star of the reality show, was contemplating firing his assistant, Sarah.  As he talked with his boyfriend, he didn’t understand why after much training, Sarah still wasn’t delivering acceptable work.  His boyfriend responded, “Maybe this just isn’t her gig.”

Simple, but true.  Some of us spend our days in a job where we struggle on a weekly, sometimes daily basis and never seem to get where we most want to go.  When you find out what you are truly called to do…you’re no longer waiting for the moment for all to be well.  You are in your moment and all is well.  I am beginning to face the reality that some things just might not be my gig.  Now, I have DECIDED to use my mistakes to help me move forward.  Is it time for you to make that decision as well?

Out Of The Moment

I was traveling on a business trip and meeting my client for the first time and feeling anxious and nervous.  What am I’m going to say?  What if they ask me about their business – do I know enough?  What’s going to happen?  
 

This is an example of me being not only out of my mind…but also out of the moment.  Waiting and anticipating the moment.  Out of touch with what keeps  me calm.  Out of center…floating around in uncertainty.

It’s funny, I don’t feel this way when I’m life coaching.  To get to this moment in my life I was able to ask the right questions and pay enough attention to understand and discover what I was really supposed to do.  It feels right.  It feels in the moment.  The questions stop and the answers start.  What’s so rewarding about this, is that everyone has the opportunity to feel this way.

Just For You…

Are you looking to get back In The Moment so that you don’t have to face questions of uncertainty?  Starting Wednesday, September 7th, you can sign up for a 30 minute free consultation on www.insightfulvoice.com. 

A "Peace" Of Paper

A couple of years ago, one of my clients fired the team I was working on.  It was hard to not take it personally, since I was the lead on the account.  Being fired was harsh, but the words the client said over the phone were some I’ll never forget.

That night when I got on the train to go home, I tried to convince myself that everything was going to be alright.   I said it over and over again, but the more I said it in my mind, the less I believed it.  Then a girl with long blonde hair got on the stop after mine.  She sat across from me and began to quietly cry.  She kept her face down and tried to cover it with her hair so no one would notice.  I then took out a piece of paper from my bag and wrote down the phrase “Everything is going to be alright!”  As I stepped off the train, I handed her the note.

When I walked on to the train platform, I turned around to see if she was reading it.  And she looked at me and mouthed the words, “Thank You.”  And that’s when I really got the message that everything was going to be alright.

Although I don’t know what she was crying about – I have learned that all pain is the same.  This truth also allows me to know that if you understand you are not alone, it helps to alleviate whatever pain you’re feeling and in the end you can really believe ALL is going to be RIGHT.

www.insightfulvoice.com

Watching Alert!

If you’re like me, you can’t believe this extraordinary weather we’re having.  Hurricane Irene has shut down the city.  In the ten years I’ve lived here, I’ve never known the MBTA (Boston's public transportation system) to completely close.   And this is just one of the many steps officials and residents have taken as we all watch and wait. 
 
Last Tuesday, we were also in a state of watching and waiting when a geological earthquake, the strongest East Coast tremor in 67 years, caused damage to older buildings, shutting down much of the nation’s capital and affecting tens of millions of people from New England to South Carolina. 

It’s not surprising that this week we have all focused on the pending inconveniences each weather alert brings to our lives.  I’ve been talking to many friends on the east and southern coast about how interesting it is that we are all experiencing and witnessing the same thing, and one of them said something very wise and very true.  There is an opportunity to change our mindset about what is taking place.  Although we may feel that we are dealing with these weather alerts from different parts of the country or points of view, it reminds us – no matter where we are coming from, we are all connected in some small way as we watch and wait.

No Shoes, No Service?

I was riding the bus home after a long day at work and heard an older woman about five to six seats away talking LOUDLY on her cell phone.  She was talking as if her cell phone was a bull horn, or as if she was acting out a one-woman-play called, “Where You At?”   She was disturbing the peace…mostly, my peace.  But hold on to your hats, ladies and gentleman, that’s not all.  I looked down and she didn’t have on any shoes.  Just white socks!  Let the judging begin:

Really?!?! What state of mind do you have to be in to not wear shoes on public transportation?  Now, I’m questioning the validity of her cell phone conversation.  Was there even anyone on the other end of that call? Did NO SHOES mean NO SERVICE?

Then she got off the bus.  When she exited, there was a younger woman waiting for her.  The younger woman had just put her cell phone away, then hugged the older woman and gave her a pair of shoes.  They both sat on the bench while the older woman put on her shoes.

Hello everyone….my name is James Singleton and I’m going to hell.

I stopped judging because I started thinking about how similar the older woman talking on the phone was to me and pretty much everyone I know.

No matter what…no matter who she was (or how loudly she was talking) – she WANTED connection.  More importantly, she DESERVED connection.  On the other end of that phone – there was someone who cared.

In this rare case – no shoes, meant service.  It also meant connection.